Where do I go from here?

I am not a panda.

I lied, pandas do loiter around, a lot. In fact, pandas seem to be loitering around most of the time. Sitting there on the ground, eating, sleeping, eating, more eating, sitting around.

No wonder they're so fat.

I guess I was completely off about that sense of direction rant the other day, in fact, pandas have been known to refuse to reproduce most of the time. It doesn't help that they're an endangered species, pandas seem to be quite averse to the idea of reproducing.

That's probably why they're endangered. That, and habitat destruction, of course.

But pandas don't have to make money. Pandas aren't under pressure to raise enough money to send their children to school. Bamboos can't be kept in banks. Pandas don't even grow bamboos on their own. There is no such thing as a Panda School.

Or panda weddings. Or luxury brands aimed for pandas.

If there are, then it's probably a good indication of why a good chunk of the world population is plagued by hunger and malaria; because there are too much money in the hands of idiots with no priorities.

Back to pandas.

I guess it's not true that pandas have a sense of purpose, but it's fine for them to sit and loiter around and occasionally have babies. Just sitting there looking cute.

Humans want too many things. Could we live on a diet consisting of a single type of plant? No. We'd be unhappy, yes, but we'd actually be at risk of malnutrition. Humans need too many things. Could we sit around and eat all day? Well, no. We need to work and make money, and not only that, we will become morbidly obese. Then we'd have health problems and die prematurely. Could humans loiter around and do nothing? No. We need money. Other than that, we could live off bartering, but if we all just loiter around and feed off the wild, what exactly would we barter?

We'd have nothing to offer.

Plus, humans walking around doing nothing have been known to start asking strange questions. For example: What is the meaning of life? Why was I born?

Brilliant.

Now, if they'd only stop walking around doing nothing, they might actually find that out. Then, once they do something, they go around saying things like: The two most important days of your life is the day you were born and the day you find out why.

They go around life trying to make as much money as they can, then, on those occasional drunken stupors, they ask themselves the question again: What is the meaning of life?

They ponder and ponder as they wander around town, trying to walk home looking as sober as possible. The question then proceeds to be flushed down the toilet along with the remains of tonight alcohol and today's dinner.

Life goes on when you stop asking the questions and start living your life.

Life goes on. We move on from the questions and forget about the answers. We look for the things that are more tangible. Like friends, like family, like good food, like nice clothes.

The many things that make you laugh and smile. Of course, we come through life understanding that money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you buy the things that make you happy. You grow up, you grow old. You grow wiser, you grow senile.

Then there are those movie scenes when the man is on his deathbed, having an epic flashback of the happiest moments of his life, when he suddenly realizes that the meaning of his life has been found. He looks at the people at his bedside: his family, his friends. They look at him with worried smiles. "Go on lad, you can go now, you've had a good run," they say. He takes one last glance and dies with a peaceful smile on his face.

And then there are people who chases empty questions expecting to find some epic answer that can be compared to the battle between the Sith and the Jedi. Six movies is indeed a long series.

I fear I will end up in my deathbed with too many questions, realizing only too late that by trying to find the meaning of life, I have forgot to live. It's a fearsome thought really, to be dissatisfied of the life you can't restart.

I wonder what pandas think of when they're about to die.